Listening Is Underrated
Many years ago a friend pointed out to me that the more the other party talks in a meeting, the better they tend to think it went. People do love the sound of their own voices. I’ve tried to apply this observation since then and find it largely true. My approach is simply to ask questions and let people respond, and pay attention.
The questions need to elicit informative responses, rather than embody an argument or convey your own virtue. It takes discipline but is simple. You will learn more from responses to good questions than by speaking. You can also gain understanding from body language, tone, mannerisms, pacing, etc.
The focus on listening appears in many guises in many ages. It is advice worth following, yet few do. Listening remains underrated.
Seek first to understand, then to be understood.
The reason why we have two ears and only one mouth is that we may listen the more and talk the less.
You’ve not only got to know what is said, but what is meant. There’s a lot of difference between listening and hearing.
An appreciative listener is always stimulating, and I described, in a humorous manner, certain incidents of my Convalescent Home, in a way which, I flatter myself, greatly amused my hostess.
Take a look round, then, and see that none of the uninitiated are listening. Now by the uninitiated I mean the people who believe in nothing but what they can grasp in their hands, and who will not allow that action or generation or anything invisible can have real existence.
Well then, I agree, let us first hear them, for ’tis best; one can even learn something in an enemy’s school.
You know, the most important thing in communication is to hear what isn’t being said.